Ask a Tacoma Therapist: What if “Talk therapy didn’t work for me?” and why brainspotting therapy might
I’m Kate Hagborg, LMHC with Destiny City Counseling, and I offer in-person therapy in Tacoma, WA and online therapy in WA state.
what if talk therapy didn’t work for me?
If you’ve tried traditional talk therapy and left feeling frustrated, disconnected, or like nothing really changed—you’re not alone. Many people find that while talk therapy offers insights, it doesn’t always lead to the deep healing they need. This is especially true for trauma, grief, or anxiety that seems to live in your body just as much as in your thoughts. If you’ve ever said, "I understand why I feel this way, but I still feel stuck," brainspotting therapy may be what you’re looking for.
Brainspotting therapy is different than talk therapy
Brainspotting is a somatic, body-based approach to therapy that focuses on where in your body you feel your emotional pain. It doesn’t rely solely on words or logical understanding. Instead, it gently invites your nervous system to process and release stuck trauma at the subcortical level—the part of the brain that controls emotion, memory, and instinct.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, which often stays in the rational part of the brain, brainspotting helps clients access deeper, pre-verbal experiences stored in the body. It respects your pace and doesn't require you to talk through every detail of your trauma. Instead, it meets you where your pain actually lives—in your chest, your gut, your jaw, your nervous system.
Why this matters—trauma lives in the body
Grief and trauma live in our bodies, and body-based therapies like brainspotting help to process these things at a deeper level than talk talk therapy alone.
Talk therapy can sometimes feel like you’re saying all the right things but not actually feeling better. That’s because trauma doesn’t just live in your memories—it lives in your body. You may experience tightness in your chest, a pit in your stomach, or a sudden wave of anxiety and not understand why. Or maybe you feel, numb, disconnected, or unable to stop addictive behaviors like doom-scrolling or emotional eating. These are signs your nervous system is holding onto something that talking alone can’t reach.
Brainspotting offers a way to bring compassion and attention to those physical sensations. It helps the body complete stress responses that were interrupted during traumatic or overwhelming experiences. In my work as a therapist in Tacoma, WA, I use brainspotting to help clients gently access these deeper layers, especially when other approaches haven’t helped.
how brainspotting therapy helped Kathleen Ferraro process her grief
Self Magazine recently published an article (June 4, 2025) titled ‘Brainspotting’ Was Life-Changing for Me. Here’s What to Know About the New-ish Therapy Technique by Kathleen Ferraro. In it, she describes her personal experience:
In the June 4, 2025 article for SELF Magazine titled ‘Brainspotting’ Was Life-Changing for Me. Here’s What to Know About the New-ish Therapy Technique, Kathleen Ferraro describes how brainspotting therapy changed her life.
“After my dad died unexpectedly, nothing seemed to touch the emotional and physical weight of the grief. It lived in my body—tight in my chest, heavy in my stomach, painful in my muscles. Traditional therapy felt like talking in circles. Grief counseling fell flat. But brainspotting? That cracked something open.
Kathleen's words are something I hear often in my Tacoma counseling office: that people feel like they’re walking around with unresolved emotional weight and don’t know how to unload it. Brainspotting therapy allows us to access that grief in a way that honors both the mind and the body.
how does brainspotting therapy work?
In a brainspotting session, I help clients find a "brainspot"—a specific eye position that corresponds to where trauma or emotional pain is held in the body. This spot is often identified by noticing physical sensations that arise while discussing a painful experience. Once we locate the brainspot, you simply observe your internal experience as your body and nervous system process it.
As Kathleen Ferraro described:
“In my first session, my therapist asked me to focus on a specific point on the screen—a seemingly random spot she’d identified after I described the sickening sensations I felt while talking about a recurring nightmare tied to losing a parent. I stared, and suddenly, I felt it: My stomach twisted, my body tensed, and a wave of panic washed over me. It was like the grief had been frozen in my nervous system, and now it finally had room to move.”
There is no need to relive every detail of a traumatic memory. Instead, the focus is on allowing physical and emotional sensations to emerge, be noticed, and move through the body. Ferraro writes:
“As you focus on the brainspot, physical sensations tied to your trauma begin to surface,” says Dr. Kaylor. For me, that often meant a racing heart, tight muscles, nausea, and difficulty swallowing. My therapist would then prompt me to notice, name, feel, and sit with these sensations without trying to push them away.
Brainspotting is believed to access the brain’s subcortical areas—those responsible for instinct, memory, and emotion—which allows stuck trauma to be released in a way that feels organic and compassionate
What results should I expect from brainspotting?
Brainspotting therapy can help the body release stored trauma and help regulate the nervous system.
Everyone’s experience with brainspotting therapy is unique. Some people feel a shift after just a few sessions. Others with more chronic trauma, dissociation, or long-standing patterns may notice more subtle changes that build over time. Sessions can be done in-person or online and still be highly effective.
Clients I work with often describe a softening of their inner world—less reactivity, fewer panic attacks, more connection to their emotions, and a deeper sense of calm. One client told me, "It’s like I have access to parts of myself I didn’t know how to reach before."
Kathleen Ferraro echoes this in her article:
“Though it took longer for me to reap the benefits of brainspotting, it was worth the wait. After four months of weekly brainspotting sessions, my flashbacks and nightmares noticeably decreased—what used to happen every week now occurred only every few months. The intense waves of grief also softened. Instead of stopping me in my tracks, the feelings became something I could sit with and move through, allowing me to return to my day without being swept into a full-blown panic response.”
how to know if I’m a good fit for brainspotting?
Brainspotting therapy might be right for you if:
Talk therapy hasn’t worked or felt like enough
You struggle to articulate or even understand what you’re feeling
You want relief from trauma without having to retell the whole story
EMDR didn’t feel like a good fit for you
You feel like your body is holding onto stress, anxiety, or pain
You want to become more compassionate toward yourself
Whether you're dealing with grief, anxiety, trauma, or just feel stuck, brainspotting offers a gentle but powerful path forward.
schedule your free consultation for brainspotting therapy in tacaoma, wa
If you're curious about brainspotting therapy in Tacoma, WA, I invite you to reach out for a free 15-minute consultation. I’d love to talk with you about whether this approach might be a good fit for your healing journey.
I integrate brainspotting and somatic work with a trauma-informed, relational, and spiritually-sensitive lens. You can learn more about my approach here. My other specialities include anxiety, burnout, codependency, and people-pleasing.
You're not broken. Your body is trying to heal. Let’s support it in doing just that.