Ask a Therapist in Tacoma, WA: How to Regulate Your Nervous System
Find a therapist in Tacoma, WA today and learn tools to start regulating your nervous system.
If you’ve ever felt anxious, on edge, or exhausted for no clear reason, your nervous system may be trying to tell you something. In my work as a therapist in Tacoma, WA, I often help clients understand how their emotional and physical responses are connected to their nervous system—and more importantly, how to support regulation. Whether you’re recovering from stress, trauma, or just trying to find more balance in daily life, learning to regulate your nervous system is foundational to feeling safe, calm, and connected. In this post, we’ll explore what nervous system regulation is, why it matters, and how therapy—especially brainspotting therapy—can help you feel more grounded and resilient.
What Does It Mean to Regulate Your Nervous System?
Regulating your nervous system means being able to return to a calm, centered state after experiencing stress. It’s not about avoiding stress altogether, but rather being able to move through it without getting stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses. A regulated nervous system allows you to feel emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
Imagine you're at work and receive an upsetting email. If you're dysregulated, you might lash out, shut down, or obsess about it for hours. If your system is regulated, you can notice your reaction, breathe through it, and respond thoughtfully. Therapy helps you build this capacity.
Why Nervous System Dysregulation Happens
Dysregulation can occur when your nervous system gets stuck in survival mode due to chronic stress, trauma, or lack of safety in your environment. Over time, this can lead to patterns of anxiety, irritability, shutdown, or feeling numb.
For example, growing up in a chaotic or critical household can prime your nervous system to stay on high alert. Even long after the threat is gone, your body may react as if it’s still there. Working with a therapist in Tacoma, WA can help identify and interrupt these patterns, creating space for healing and new responses.
The Role of the Autonomic Nervous System: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn
The autonomic nervous system has two main branches: the sympathetic (activating) and parasympathetic (calming). When danger is perceived, your system may respond with fight or flight (sympathetic), or freeze and fawn (parasympathetic in a shutdown mode).
For instance, fight might look like anger, while fawn might mean people-pleasing to stay safe. Therapy can help you better understand these responses and work with them, not against them.
What’s cool is that the brain has a “switch” (metaphorically speaking), to toggle between its active and calming state. It can only be in EITHER sympathetic or parasympathetic—which means that focusing on calming coping strategies can force the switch to flip and enable us to soothe our nervous systems faster. These strategies are not instantaneous, but stick with them and they will make a noticeable impact.
Signs Your Nervous System Might Be Dysregulated
Some signs include chronic anxiety, trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, feeling emotionally numb, or sudden mood swings. You might also notice physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, or chronic tension.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and there’s support available. A therapist trained in nervous system regulation and brainspotting therapy can help you connect the dots and start feeling better.
You can check out this previous article for more information on how to recognize a dysregulated nervous system.
How Therapy Helps Support Nervous System Regulation
One reason therapy is so powerful is because of co-regulation. The nonanxious, supportive presence of another person helps to regulate our nervous system so we can heal faster.
Therapy provides a safe, structured environment where you can explore your triggers and responses with curiosity rather than judgment. It also offers a consistent relationship where your nervous system can begin to feel safe.
Through guided exploration, you can develop body awareness, track your responses, and gently reprocess old wounds. Modalities like brainspotting therapy allow us to target the body-based aspects of dysregulation and help you return to balance.
Brainspotting and Nervous System Healing
Brainspotting therapy is a powerful tool that accesses deeper parts of the brain tied to trauma and emotional memory. By identifying a "brainspot"—a specific eye position linked to unresolved experiences—we can facilitate healing at the nervous system level.
One client described it as "getting to the root of the feeling without having to talk it to death." Many clients find that brainspotting allows for release without needing to relive the trauma. In sessions, we create a calm container where your body leads the process.
Small Changes, Big Impact: The Power of Daily Regulation Practices
You don’t have to overhaul your life to start feeling better. Gentle, consistent practices like stretching, walking in nature, or mindful breathing can support your nervous system’s resilience.
Even five minutes a day of slow breathing or quiet reflection can begin to shift your baseline. These tools become even more effective when introduced and supported in therapy, where we personalize them for your needs.
Breathing Techniques That Actually Work
Breathwork is a helpful way to switch from panic-brain to calming-brain. Therapy can help you learn tools like this to regulate your nervous system.
Simple breathing exercises, like box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) or extended exhales (inhale 4, exhale 6-8), signal to your nervous system that you are safe. These tools may seem small, but they’re powerful.
In therapy, we often practice these together so you can feel the difference in real time. A therapist in Tacoma, WA can help you find the version that feels most natural to you.
Here are some free breathwork videos that you can try on your own:
Grounding Exercises for Moments of Overwhelm
Grounding techniques help bring your body back to the present moment. Try naming five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste.
This sensory awareness interrupts spirals of anxiety or dissociation. Practicing these with a therapist makes it easier to use them when you need them most—and to trust that they work.
Here’s a free video that walks you through the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique.
Movement and the Mind-Body Connection
Movement helps release stress stored in the body. Gentle stretching, yoga, walking, or even dancing can signal to your nervous system that it's safe to let go.
Nutrition, Sleep, and the Nervous System
Daily habits like hydrating, meal prep, and showering can be hard when we are depressed. Therapy can help you find a routine to start feeling better faster.
Food and rest have a direct impact on how your nervous system functions. Blood sugar crashes or poor sleep can make emotional regulation harder. Too much caffeine can exacerbate anxiety, panic attacks, and sleep issues.
And how many of us are guilty of not drinking enough water? This one’s always a struggle for me. But dehydration can lead to brain fog, tiredness, fatigue, headaches, and more. Water is necessary for our cells and bodies to do just about every process they are designed for.
Depression and anxiety can make it difficult to develop daily routines. You may struggle with activities of daily life like getting adequate nutrition, over-eating or binge eating, not having the bandwidth to hydrate, grocery shop, or stay consistent with these things. This is nothing to be ashamed of—it’s just a sign your nervous system is overwhelmed and you could use some more support.
Therapy often includes conversations about lifestyle patterns that support your mental and physical health. We might explore how caffeine, screen time, or meal timing affect your sense of balance. We can help you develop a plan to address your physical needs that isn’t overwhelming and starts to help you feel better.
Why You Can’t “Think” Your Way Out of Anxiety
Cognitive tools like reframing or positive self-talk are useful—but they aren’t always enough. That’s because anxiety often lives deeper in the body than in the rational mind. When your nervous system is activated, the logical parts of your brain may go offline.
For example, you may know intellectually that you're safe, but your heart is racing, your muscles are tense, and your thoughts are spiraling. In these moments, telling yourself to "just calm down" often doesn’t work.
In therapy, especially using brainspotting, we bypass the overthinking and work directly with the body's response. We allow your system to express and resolve the anxiety at its root—physically and emotionally.
Co-Regulation: Why We Heal Better with Others
Regulation isn’t just a solo task. Our nervous systems co-regulate through safe relationships. This is why therapy can be so healing—because it provides an ongoing opportunity to experience safety and attunement.
Think about how a baby calms when held by a caregiver. Adults aren’t so different. Sitting with someone who is grounded and empathetic can help your system calm down. That’s part of what I offer as a therapist in Tacoma, WA—a stable, attuned presence that supports your healing.
Building a “Window of Tolerance” for Stress
Your window of tolerance is the zone where you can think, feel, and function without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. Outside of this window, you might feel frantic, angry, or shut down and frozen.
In therapy, we help expand that window over time. We practice staying present with emotions that used to feel intolerable. Through techniques like brainspotting, resourcing, and titration, we slowly build your capacity to stay grounded during stress.
Self-Compassion as a Regulation Tool
Self-compassion isn’t just nice—it’s a powerful regulator. Harsh self-criticism increases cortisol and adrenaline. Kindness and acceptance, on the other hand, soothe your nervous system and promote healing.
One client I worked with started writing daily compassionate notes to herself. Over time, she noticed her anxiety lessened—not because her life got easier, but because her inner world became a more supportive place.
If being kind to yourself feels foreign, therapy can help you build that muscle.
How to Talk to Kids About Their Nervous Systems
Therapy is the gift that keeps giving generation after generation! Learning how to regulate your nervous system is one of the best parenting practices that can help your kids.
Our relationship to our nervous system doesn’t just affect us. Learning how to regulate better makes us more present and attuned parents, caregivers, and teachers. Teaching kids about their nervous systems helps them build emotional resilience. Using simple metaphors—like calling the brain a "guard dog" or describing nervous system states as "zones" (red for angry, blue for sad)—can help them understand what’s happening inside.
For example, a parent might say, "It seems like your engine is running really fast. Let’s take some slow breaths to cool it down." These conversations help kids feel empowered rather than ashamed. Getting support for yourself first is the number one things you can do to help set your kids up for success when it comes to mental health. You can translate what you learn into tools that are age-appropriate and effective for the little ones in your life.
Nervous System Regulation in Trauma Recovery
Trauma disrupts the nervous system’s ability to feel safe. That’s why trauma recovery isn’t just about talking—it’s about helping the body feel safety again. Brainspotting therapy is especially helpful for this because it allows the body, not just the mind, to lead.
One trauma survivor I worked with described feeling like her body "finally exhaled" after a lifetime of tension. Therapy gave her a space where she didn’t have to explain everything—she could just feel and heal.
Recovery is possible, and it begins with helping your nervous system rediscover safety.
When to Seek Help from a Therapist in Tacoma, WA
If you find yourself feeling stuck, exhausted, overwhelmed, or emotionally numb more often than not, it may be time to reach out. Or if all your energy is spent supporting others in your life, but there’s not enough left in the take to care for yourself well, therapy can help you. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy—supporting your nervous system can be a proactive form of self-care.
A therapist in Tacoma, WA can help you make sense of your symptoms, identify helpful tools, and build a personalized path toward regulation and healing. It’s okay to ask for help—it’s actually a sign of strength.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Broken—Your Nervous System Just Needs Support
So many people walk through life feeling like something is wrong with them when in reality, their nervous system is simply doing its best to protect them. You’re not broken—you’re wired for survival. And you can learn how to regulate, heal, and thrive.
I’m Kate Hagborg, LMHC, a therapist in Tacoma, WA and I’m here to help. Reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation.
Working with a therapist, especially one trained in brainspotting therapy, can be a powerful next step. Together, we can help your nervous system feel safer, your emotions more manageable, and your life more connected.
You’re ready for help—I’m a therapist in Tacoma, WA and I’m here for you
If you’re ready to begin your journey toward nervous system regulation, I’d love to connect. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation so we can talk about what you’re looking for and see if we’re a good fit. Give me a call today—I’m here to help you feel more grounded, resilient, and whole.